you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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