But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
