I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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