I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
