So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
