its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
