Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
50% drunk capacity currently
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
