This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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