***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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