It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.