dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Someone signed my nipple.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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