i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
