How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
vagina is talking i cant
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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