we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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