Pants 0. Shit 1.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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