Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
