Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
