I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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