I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
