i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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