Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?

(1-905): View more from Toronto

Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.

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(352): View more from Florida

she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.

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(516): View more from New York

i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.

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(970): View more from Colorado

There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better

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(706): View more from Georgia

I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.

(1-706): View more from Georgia

Where the hell are you

(706): View more from Georgia

He's winning.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone

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(410): View more from Maryland

You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.

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(630): View more from Illinois

just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame

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