So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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