u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
