What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
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