Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
