Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
