pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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