Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
