i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
