And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
