Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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