I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
