he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
