My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
