I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Less talking, more tequila
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
