1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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