What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
