Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
