I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
