ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
