Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
