So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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