My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
How does one acquire holy water?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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