he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
