Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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