I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize