i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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