I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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