Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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