the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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