i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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