jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
