I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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