My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
