I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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