just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Randomize
