I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
