well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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