I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Green mimosas i think yes
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
