also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
