More tranny stories later!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
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We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
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If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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