I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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