Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize