Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
