That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
